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Hello! I’m comedian/writer Carolyn Busa and welcome
to My Sex Project.
My Sex Project is my attempt to write about sex, love, life and more every week for year. Say hello!

This weekend I masturbated in my parent’s house and here’s what happened

This weekend I masturbated in my parent’s house and here’s what happened

I took my pants off.
My mom knocked on the door.
I put my pants back on.
I told my mom I didn’t need her to wash my clothes (I did).
I took my pants off again.
I thought about fucking.
I came.
I went on Facebook.
The boy who beat me in the 1996 spelling bee randomly liked a post.
I thought about fucking the boy who beat me in the 1996 spelling bee.
My dad yelled asking if I wanted ravioli.
I yelled ‘Yeah, I’ll eat some, thanks!’
I tried remembering the word that made me lose.
It wasn’t ‘photosynthesis’.
I definitely spelled that one right.
Can you believe it?
A 5th grader correctly spelling photosynthesis?
It was amazing.
I came again.
I messaged the boy who beat me in the 1996 spelling bee.
He told me the word was ‘hygiene’.
He also told me he was divorced.
I came again!
My dad yelled asking how many ravioli I wanted.
I yelled ‘Well, how big are they?’
He yelled ‘They’re decent!’
I yelled ‘I’ll take 4!’
I closed my eyes.
I thought about fucking again.
My dad yelled that dinner was ready.
I yelled ‘Okay!’
I tried for a fourth.
My mom also yelled that dinner was ready.
I yelled ‘I know!’
I got frustrated.
It wasn’t going to happen.
I put my pants on.
I went downstairs.
I ate ravioli.
I asked my dad for a ride to Mike’s.
My dad drove me to Mike’s.
I commented on the neighbor’s Christmas decorations.
I thought of that time in college he picked me up from TJ’s.
And I reeked of marijuana.
Did I reek of masturbation?
I told myself to shut up.
We got to Mike’s.
I told my dad I loved him.
The end.

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Gifts for you or me or us

Gifts for you or me or us

Hotels are for boning, Airbnbs are for making love

Hotels are for boning, Airbnbs are for making love