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Hello! I’m comedian/writer Carolyn Busa and welcome
to My Sex Project.
My Sex Project is my attempt to write about sex, love, life and more every week for year. Say hello!

Meet Lila Donnolo

Meet Lila Donnolo

I met Lila real quick after a Touchpoint. She gave me her business card which pictured a cartoon version of herself laying horizontal looking all Jessica Rabbit-like (I love when redheads embrace their inner redheadedness). Lila’s podcast, horizontal with lila , is a podcast of intimate conversations about sex, love and relationships that’s recorded while, can you guess? Lying down.

Name: Lila Donnolo

Pronouns: she/her

Where do you live?: Hacienda Villa, a sex-positive intentional community in Bushwick. Brooklyn, NY

Tell me about your work: I love sleepovers, spooning, sharing, storytelling, sex, and stargazing, among other things. So I metaphorically rolled them up in audio form and called it a podcast. horizontal with lila is Slow Radio. It’s intimacies of all kinds. It’s consensual eavesdropping. It’s us lying down right next to each other, wearing robes, sharing secrets, in your ears. I am making (what are usually considered) private conversations public, in order to dispel shame, diminish loneliness, and alchemize human connection!

What is your ‘goal’ with sex?: Mood regulation and the natural high.

Favorite sense and why: I'm a deeply touch-oriented person. My nickname at summer camp in 1995 was Huggy Bear. Physical touch and quality time are my top (romance) Love Languages. Sensation play is my preferred kink. I am a passionately visceral human.

What has been the most challenging thing for you regarding your sexuality?: I have trouble finding people that I want to have sex with, who also want to have sex with me, at the same time, who are at liberty to do so. So. I've never had as much sex as I've wanted (except a recent one-week escapade in Miami) and yet! I can't bring myself to have fast-food sex or sex with someone I don't feel fire for. There are relatively few people that I'm sexually-attracted to, and I have a really high level of sexual disgust. I wish I felt attraction for more humans, because I'm a much better Lila when well-fucked. Sigh.

Weirdest place you found yourself turned on: On a Brazilian bus.

A book that has been influential for your sex journey: Arousal, the secret logic of sexual fantasies. This book exploded my brain with the concept that my fantasies are a creative mechanism that allow me to feel safe enough to get aroused. (Right? Brain asplode!)

Who is your go-to ‘Let’s talk about sex!’ person and why?: Oh, I have so many! I am so fortunate! I live in community with a world-class sex educator, Kenneth Play, and he always has insight on any sexual curiosity or dilemma that I might have. He is a consummate Sex Nerd, and I know he cares about me sourcing pleasure for myself. (Not just because I'm a nicer housemate when I do, but. That may be part of it.)

Who do you wish you could talk about sex with more?: Well. The people who say, "I'm a private person." Those people. I'd like to have them on the podcast.

What is one thing that you wish became more ‘normal’ with sex: I wish that every teenager everywhere was taught the existence of in-condoms (colloquially called the "female condom"), their benefits, and how to insert one. Even while residing firmly in sex-positive-land, I felt an aversion to in-condoms until somebody showed me how they work and told me about their friction-reducing benefits!

You can fuck as any animal for one day. What animal would you be?: Brad Pitt. (Still the human one.)

Where do you really, really, really want to have sex?: In an antique Elizabethan four-poster bed with multiple well-built, pheremonally-compatible male attendants. And grapes.

Goals for 2019?: To somehow acquire a nice-looking, well-functioning camper van for a 6-month tour of the United States: to record horizontal episodes, give intimacy speeches, teach intimacy workshops, curate intimate immersive events, perform intimacy installations, and shoot video of it all. So..... Got a camper van for me? ;)


Well, I sadly don’t have a camper van but if you would like to help Lila get hers, donate to her horizonal with lila Patreon page (right side up, course)!

Credit: Julie Savage Lee Photography

When you’re done donating to Lila’s page, head on over to donate to mine! ;)

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